Elizabeth Ziff is an assistant professor in the Department of Sociology at the University of Indianapolis with interests in reproduction, gender, the body, and the family. It’s the women who are like that ALL THE TIME (or at least the majority). This creature can be seen in it's natural state normally in the Post or Base Exchange, usually in the food court area. A combo of a dependapotamus and a karen. Dependopotamus A leech-like creature normally associated with the military, but has been seen in other forms outside of the military. 3.3K likes. Go to your local base exchange or commissary and it is like seeing pictures of “People at Walmart.”. She received her PhD in Sociology from The New School for Social Research. It’s very sad all around. Go to the PX. I wonder if they’ve ever thought about why that person is that way. I’ve lived in housing as well as off post. What is wrong with being a stay at home mom? And Jennifrr, I agree, it’s exhausting and let’s do be the group that breaks the cycle. It carries an extremely negative connotation meant to demean and insult military spouses. That post blew up and received 1,700 upvotes and several comments. Judge Advocate General’s Office abbreviation on door, “JAG OFF”. provide a sanitary and clean area in witch to raise my children. You can be a dependapotamus without being "a hamlord." I Know You’re Going to Be a Great Military Spouse, You Ask, We Answer: Handling Your Kid’s Deployment Questions Without Lying, 7 Highly Pretentious Green Living Habits Everyone Should Adopt, Love Is Love: One MilSpouse’s Reaction to the Same-Sex Marriage Decision. Other than being a totally made up phrase derived from the concept of “slut shaming,” spouse shaming is merely my way of discussing a fairly popular military community cultural practice of military spouses, (and some of our servicemembers too) accusing other military spouses of being none other than a dependapotamus. You Know Your Worth, Show Them... 5 Things to Consider When Deciding to Rent or Buy. Enough with the “dependapotamus” label! Fuck your feelings no dependa is safe “Don’t Be Scared To Counteroffer. The Urban Dictionary defines the word dependapotamus as being “Traditionally a service-members dependent who is a “stay at home mom” that doesn’t do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to jabba the hut leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close.” And on April 27th another page was created, just after a redditor posted a screenshot on 4chan of a “Dependapotamus” trying to get into a public pool for free. We’d be totally naive to think that that there isn’t a military spouse out there that fits this definition, but to perpetuate this as the rule and not the exception is a huge problem. Pride in your home, and caring for your children is a priority. One of the very firsts was the page AntiDependa which had an illustration of a so called “Dependapotumus Version 4.3″ as its profile picture. He says the original wording was "Give me a page from the dictionary," and the dictionary he cut the pages from was a pocket dictionary he owned and kept in his school desk. By your reply it makes it sound as if you are grouping every military spouse into this derogatory name…so if you chose not to have any interaction with your husbands life/job and affiliation into what he does….how do you know or why do you even care about the other spouses unless you go to places to specifically find someone who is not 100% well manicured in the nicest clothing that day to purposely point them out to use for you own amusement (which doesn’t say a lot of good about your character). Otherwise, you’re stuck defending something that the average service member has become just as knowledgeable with as they are with their uniforms. She sold Scentsy, let her kid ride his scooter in traffic, and gossiped and started drama with everyone in the neighborhood. 504 Followers, 315 Following, 62 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Dependapotamus (@dependapotamus) These creatures seek to take advantage of the trusting nature of the more inexperienced Service Member by birthing live children to him, to establish a link that would be more work to be rid of than to simply keep. Report. your there all day CLEAN IT UP! They leech off the military, often using their husband’s benefits irresponsibly, and don’t even make an effort to better themselves by making sure their home is clean for their kids. no dirty clothes, clean floors i wash the walls and keep my kids room/bathrooms clean. A wife is a wife… and the only thing a wife is competing with, is herself, to make sure her marriage is the best it can be. For dependapotamus hunters, the most basic ritual is to use a common vocabulary, beginning with the word dependa but any derivation of it, like dependapotamus or dependasaurus, will do. The Dependapotamus, as scientists refere to them, are living potato sacks who will congregate at the local malls, dive bars, WalMarts, and under 21 night clubs in hopes of finding a military man that they can sink their whorish claws into. […] I bet you’re asking yourself, “what’s spouse shaming”? Because whether or not we want to believe it, our actions have an impact on the way our husband is perceived by his superiors and peers. Dependapotamus - Who had one ? i have seen these toothless (or mostly toothless) smelly nasty women who sit on there Sofa or in there Garage all day smoke drink and Face Book it up! The thing is these type of people are the exception…not the normal as these facebookers would have you believe. Sleeping with someone doesn’t earn you anything. An insult. 1.7k votes, 69 comments. Not all MilSpouses are like this. There are so many times in my life I have been proud to be a part of the military community, and then there are times when I see words like this and am just ashamed. Why “Dependapotamus” Needs to End by Danya If you’re a military spouse, you’ve probably heard a few terms like Tag Chaser, WestPac Widow, OSMW (overly-sensitive military wife), and the infamous Dependapotamus. Arguing with other dependas over Facebook all day over who's the bigger dependa. I think stay-at-home moms get enough flak from the rest of the public, but when we are hearing it from other moms it’s even worse. And remember, what makes a dependa is not one thing or another, it’s a whole combination of things that leads to a non-productive member of society…lol. I could go on and on all day about this because it is becoming more and more common..but YES DEPENDAPOTAMUS’ DO EXIST. ... Urban Dictionary and our advertising partners set cookies on your computer to improve our site and the advertisements you see. This will only be live on VET Tv. Dependapotamus: Traditionally a service-members dependent who is a "stay at home mom" that doesn't do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to jabba the hut leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close. 3,045 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from ‘dependapotamus’ hashtag because THATS my job. Navy - … In my flip flops I had to kick trash aside as I tried to make it across her house….and ok yes she was pregnant but I couldn’t see the carpet and her three yr old son was living in this mess too. The Pros and Cons Of Starting A Business With A Milspouse... Mentorship and the Milspouse-Owned Business, The Smart Military Spouse’s Guide To Military Promotions. A: Dear feeling hurt, The term “dependa” or “dependapotamos” is, unfortunately, a fairly well-known derogatory term within the military community. A Dependapotamus is real. Dependa, also known as Dependapotamus, is a pejorative referring to the wives of military service people who live off of their spouse's earnings and are typically associated with being lazy and overweight. I absolutely agree! I read a blog a while ago by a military spouse that was so depressing in the way it portrayed other military spouses, specifically SAHM’s (I believe dependapotomus was the word used). You will usually see this term used by spouses on “support” sites. A lot of times though, this behavior is coming from dependas who are angry with their life but don’t want to change it. I am not a fan of the page, I check it because I had someone make a snide remark toward me one day about my appearance (gained weight from chemo and hadn’t found a great shampoo yet that works with the new hair texture) and parenting while my kid (who has developmental/phonological/sensory/personality disorders) was having a total meltdown that came on suddenly and I had errands I had to finish, and then not so quietly mention verbatim “this is so going on ______’s page). Resumes Sent: 3 These indexes are then used to find usage correlations between slang terms. What’s really amazing is that I saw the article on FB on one of those support sites, and the first half a dozen comments completely missed the point of your article, insisting these creatures do exist. I’m pretty sure even us stay at home moms do SOMETHING. Is There Truth Behind the Dependapotamus Myth? In 2014, on the 14th of January, the user ricerbarbiee submitted an entry about “Dependapotamus” which is now the top definition on Urban Dictionary. I guarantee you’ll see at least a few women dressed in pajama pants, hair a mess, kids a mess, running amok and screaming. I actually found your article from one of those sites, the primary one that created this particular idea of military spouses. 2. Usually they are imagined as a very lazy, annoying, fat person. Dependapotamus also known as “Dependa” is a disparaging term referring to women who are married to a military service member and live off of their wealth and success. In the year 2013, multiple Facebook groups and pages were launched. In the entry, Daemion defined a “Dependapotamus” as a “stay at home mom” who resembles to “Jabba the hut”. Stay at home mom’s are fine, there is no excuse for a stay at home mom to have a FILTHY home. Not caring about your appearance or the reflection of you and your family on your husband and his career. We are always judging and being judged. (Not you liz, but the person you talked about. The largest military subreddit on reddit. Amount of votes Joe Biden won Georgia by in the 2020 Presidential Election 3. Dependapotamus. Kind of like the c-word and b-word of milspouse-land. I’d like to add some (few) fun ones (crudeness mostly edited out): 1. Ever. ), Definitely not extinct. But this is just calling it like it is. Despite what you may read online dependas are not overrunning every military base all over the world. My house is SPOTLESS!!! Well, the word is pretty self-explanatory: It is a combination of “dependent,” describing someone who is a military dependent, and “hippopotamus,” as in…well, a really chubby creature that … Report. And yeah, we all have bad days where we feel like crap and have to run a quick errand and don’t have time to ‘get ready’ (or just don’t feel like it), and sometimes all of our kids are crazy. In the military community, especially the online military community, dependapotamus is a 4-letter word. This is the final form of depandapotami and Karens. These are the exact equivalent of a dependa. Most of the mothers do not take care of themselves, they let their kids run wild up and down the streets. A person who is married to someone in the service who doesn't just depend on their spouse for financial support, but pretty much relies on them for it. What happened in their life to get them to that point. I’m not talking about those who have just going through a difficult time, but those who make it a way of life. Newsflash, if you are paying someone to do the same thing a stay at home mom does, it’s not a piece of cake. Report. She isn’t. For the most part, its true. Dependapotamus | EP05 22m 177 comments **** VET Tv is starting something new! ^and that, ladies, is what we call a dependa. But if you choose to not work watching your own child is suddenly a deplorable thing to do? And that’s why I don’t associate with military unless I meet them outside of the military setting. Based on some military spouse websites you would think so called “dependas” were overrunning every military base all over the world. Yes, the term has some merit. Kinda makes you a failure! SlangLang – Online dictionary for slang words. As Soldiers progress and realize that having a stressful home life ON TOP of a stressful job isn’t necessary….the dependapotamus is usually the first to go. Everyone has experienced from cattiness to downright aggressive. You don’t get a rank or title by marrying someone – it is EARNED. Some rude & brood comments here. It’s about being home and doing nothing. After all, I do have to get up and refresh my bon bon supply between soap operas. 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