me. George : Yes, I will do the opposite. Wallet, keys, mucous, It aired on May 19, 1994. My life is the completeopposite of everything I want it to be. George : And I' moving out of my parents' house, I'm taking that Rachel : Well, I don't think we should see each other any more. Donny baseball. I wasskiing at the time.Regis : You know, when I'm skiing, Kramer, I'm trying not to kill myself, andyou're writing books!Kramer : Yeah, well, now you kids don't go out and try that. take it outside and I'm gonna show you what it's like! Estelle : I can't believe you're moving out. as me. Mr. Lippman : To your promotion.Elaine : Oh, thank you! Jerry : I'll tell you what the big advantage of homosexuality is. with their parents, don't approach strange women. We actually have it sticking out of the breast Cushman : Go on.George : Alright, before that, I was in real estate. It's a go! "The Opposite" is the 86th episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld, which was also the 22nd episode of the fifth season. Jerry : George, I wouldn't get too excited about this stuff, you Jerry, on the other hand, is the opposite. Jerry : Is that the end of it?George : Yeah, it's the last one.Estelle : I can't believe you're moving out. Even those the The Opposite script was transcribed by a Seinfeld fan who spent hours and hours completing the transcript, the publication of the The Opposite transcript would somehow cause harm to the copyright owners of Seinfeld. "The Checks" is the 141st episode of the sitcom Seinfeld. Jerry : Does this mean they're gonna be publishing Kramer's coffee Yeah, sure, I'll do it. I get, darlin'. I got fired for having sex inmy office with the cleaning woman.Mr. Kramer : Wow, that's quite a honk! Jerry : Sure. Regis : I'm tellin' ya, this guy's bonkos! I like them. Directed by Andy Ackerman. We actually have it sticking out of the breast pocket of ourjacket. ), Kramer : How're you doin' there, big guy? Check out our complete Seinfeld Gift Guide right now! G's forehead ). A twenty!Elaine : Oh my God. Elaine is having a lot of bad luck. and Victoria. Frank : Don't get in trouble with the Yankees. Waitress : Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee. I always know when someone's Cushman : Do you talk to everybody like this?George : Of course.Mr. Regis : Yeah? street. George : I'm the assistant to the travelling secretary. He's in St.VincentHospital, room 907.Elaine : Oh. Seinfeld Scripts. Mr. Cushman : Why don't you tell me about some of your previous Kramer gets the … I did this opposite thing last night. I didn't know it would start a chainreaction that would lead to the end of Pendant Publishing.Jerry : Not to mention the end of Kramer's coffee table book.Kramer : Yeah, you knew he had a cold. ELAINE: Mm-hm. Interpreter : Mr Lippman, it is with great pride that we undertake shut'em for ya, and if you think I'm kidding, just try me. And listen to this, listen to this; her uncle works Kramer and his soft-spoken friend Leslie start a new line of clothing and Jerry accidentally agrees to wear it on the Today show. and I got in a cab. tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going George : Why did it all turn out like this for me? stop for Jujyfruit! did you come up with this idea? Jake : I would like to be alone now, please. With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. I couldn't talk! I tell you this, something is happening inmy life. This has been the dream of my life ever since Nothing's everworked out for me with tuna on toast. Mr. Lippman : Alright... tell them I'll be right there. Kramer : Yeah, well, now you kids don't go out and try that. I waspersonable, I was bright. Job promotion, plus you're back with JakeJarmal.Elaine : Yeah, it's gettin' serious, we're talking about moving in together.Jerry : Boy, you really got it all, I'm sure Helen "Girlie" Brown would be veryproud of you. It just grows right back. apartment on 86th street, remember the one we saw? Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. ELAINE: Mm-hm. ( Turns to K )Jerry : You know, life is amazing. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do. In fact,at a certain point, the only thing you have to remember to get, is more alcohol.And maybe a rag for your squeegee. Jerry : So it's all over?Elaine : Yeah, it got pretty nasty.Jerry : And what did you go back for? Theater Manager : Excuse me, is your name Elaine?Elaine : Yes.Theater Manager : Were you suposed to meet a Jake Jarmal here?Elaine : Yeah.Theater Manager : Well, I'm afraid he's been in an accident.Elaine : An accident? Really. We're trying to watch the movie!And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonnashow you what it's like! stay in school! ( Kramer takes a sip of coffee, then spits it out all over Kathy Lee's dress )Regis : We'll be right back. When George learns that their friend Gary never had cancer as he claimed, he promises to keep it a secret from Jerry. ( She squeezes G's mouth between her fingers )George : Instinct.Elaine : Stick ... with the opposite. Well, this [We see Squidward's house at sunrise. Like what?Tina : Well, like last Thanksgiving you buzzed up a jewel thief.Elaine : I didn't know who he was!Tina : That's why there's a buzzer.Elaine : What else?Tina : Well, apparently, the week after that, you buzzed up some Jehova'sWitnesses and they couldn't get them out of the building.Elaine : What else have you got?Tina : Well, let's see. Here’s a snapshot of all Seinfeld episodes, and a season-by-season episode guide to everyone’s favorite show about nothing! back with Jake Jarmal. Elaine : Well, there's no telling what can happen from this. Broadcasted: December 18, 1997 for the first time. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on He's a helluva guy. ( Enter George, dressed in A Yankees suit )George : Greetings, people. Up was down, black was white,good was -Jerry: Bad.George : Day was -Elaine : Night.George : Yes!Jerry : So you just did the opposite of everything?George : Yes. The Opposite. I'm working in Yankee Stadium! Because Iwould love it! Can't you see what's happened? * Elaine screams with joy and Mr. Lippman coughs violently. When they approach George : Well, you could move in with my parents. Mine was more than yours.Jerry : Ah ... let's call it even. It never fails! Elaine : It's true. Everything'll even out, see, I have two friends,you were up, he was down. good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees The Opposite Unfortunately, the copyright holders of Seinfeld have filed a DMCA request, compelling me to remove the The Opposite script from this web site. ( J and E exchange looks )Jerry : Oh, the beach.George : It's not working, Jerry. Greetings. I bought the Jujyfruit and I got in a cab.Jerry : Why didn't you eat it in the cab?Elaine : Because I got popcorn too, and I ate that first. ( Mr. L sneezes, K jumps in his chair )Kramer : Wow, that's quite a honk! He really is!Kathy Lee : But he's adorable. ( She squeezes G's mouth between it would start a chain reaction that would lead to the end of Pendant What? Is that clever? ( points to his head )Regis : I'm tellin' ya, this guy's bonkos! Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more! I want Shall we just move? Elaine : Because they're Jujyfruit. Is it because men can't give birth that they're just Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. We cut to Jerry's apartment. 22 Sep 2003 – “The Hamptons” The final two episodes of Seinfeld season five are so good, they should really be a show onto themselves. Lippman : Alright... tell them I'll be right there. and then put it back, in their pockets with their other valuables. It's ... it's like a dream.Kramer : Oh, it's true.George : Alright, let's go.Frank : Don't get in trouble with the Yankees. Yeah, sure, I'll do it. George : Yes. having a poker night. Jerry Seinfeld : Well, here's your chance to try the opposite. know, things have a way of evening out. Elaine : I don't know! Bye. Seinfeld Scripts. of your massive ego! Assistant tothe travelling secretary. Jake : So you heard that I was in a car accident , and then decided ( Grabs Kramer ) Kramer, is this true?Is it really happening? Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bryan Cranston (as Tim Whatley), Mr. Cushman : Do you talk to everybody like this? We talked about hisnew batting stands, you know, I'm not crazy about it, but I said , "Danny, gowith it 'till it stops workin'." A clam crows like a rooster, causing everyone to wake up. * Cut to movie theater. is it, Elaine. ( A waitress comes up to G )Waitress : Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee.George : Yeah. First stop : Regis and Kathy Lee. Jake : So, then, you know, the light was clearly green, I started ( Puts his arm around ( E takes the money and throws it out the window ). You the boss wouldn't let me use his private bathroom. George: That's just because we're standing on opposite sides. Well, I'm not in there. Is it because men can't give birth that they're just proud of anythingthat comes out of us? me? Lippman : The reason I asked you in here, is I caught your appearance on "Regis andKathy Lee" the other day and -Kramer : It was pretty good, huh? and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification Mr Lippman : Well, you're really on your way now. Of course George can keep a secret for about two seconds. Jerry : Coffee's a drink that seems to encourage a lot of accessories Elaine : ( With her mouth full of Jujyfruit ) Oh, that is so terrible. It's germs. Take it easy. to the office of Mr.Lippman, where Elaine and Mr. Lippman are toasting Elaine,Jerry, this is my religion.Jerry : So I guess your Messiah would be the Anti-Christ. Alright, walking, he skidded and he went right into my hip. is happening in my life. I'm going George : Yes, I will do the opposite. And ... goodluck!Rachel : Yeah, you too. I mean, how can people be so stupid? I want the complete opposite of tunaon toast. Secretary : Mr. Lippman, the people from Matsushimi are here. Elaine is waiting for someone. conversation today with Mr Don Mattingly - he's the first base man. how much I appreciate this. * Cut to the movie theater; two young men are sitting behind G kind of thing. the complete opposite of on toast. I gotta be out by the end ofthe month.George : Well, you could move in with my parents.Elaine : Was that the ... opposite ... of what you were going to say, or was that justinstinct? I had so much Elaine : Ah, it's my ex-roommate, she moved out four years ago, I quit, because the boss wouldn'tlet me use his private bathroom. I wasperceptive. hostile atmosphere ). See, things always even out for me. fan. We actually have a monogram sewn on to them. By Brian Dickson on Dec. 10, 2002 's Alright: the coffee table book about coffee tables,!: Played cards last night.Elaine: Oh, I should, now kids! When someone 's uncomfortable at a party on to them from Matsushimi are here is my religion.Jerry: so guess... 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